1) Vague statii. AGGGHHH, please fuck off! This is quite possibly the worst aspect of the annoying facebook girl. A status which is basically non-existant only for six or seven words which provide no information whatsoever. Examples include, "So sad right now," "Only five days to go," "Hate it when people break promises," "Really pissed off at the moment," "Can't believe what just happened." "Really need a hug right now," and the ultimate, "Some people in this town would want to watch out." The funny thing in a lot of cases from my experience however, is that annoying facebook girl is actually really sound in real-life, perhaps the power of a platform for sympathy goes to their head?
2)The sympathetic friend. This is the bastard child of vague statii. No matter what annoying facebook girl writes, there is the brigade of sympathetic friends to write even vaguer comments. The sympathetic friends are annoying facebook people in their own right, yet choose to be annoying on other peoples posts rather than on their own page. Sympathetic friend will not only comment on a vague status, but anything at all, and turn into showing how friendly they are. Examples include, "Friend 1-Just watched a film. Sympathetic friend-Omg hun, havnt cn u in ages, need to catch up mwah xoxo" "Friend 1- Hates when people break their promises. Sympathetic friend- Call me hun xoxox" "Friend 1-Sometimes I wonder why I bother! Sympathetic Friend - Keep strong hun, mwah love you xoxo."
3)Infinite pictures. You know how to use a camera, we get it. You know how to take pictures in black and white, sepia etc, we get it. We have seen your face from 27 different angles, all while you are doing the duck-face or pushing up your tits, while trying not to look like you're aware of it. We don't fucking care!
Another picture related aspect of annoying facebook girl is commenting on photos of how shit she looks, these comments only appear where the person looks good however, and they remain tagged. Your not fooling anyone darling, so don't expect a response from anyone, except, obviously, the aforementioned sympathetic facebook friends.
4)You were looking at my page! Annoying facebook people get annoyed when they find out you were browsing their page. It usually starts by them telling you about some picture of whatever, and you say you've seen it. "OMG you were looking through my pictures!" Ah, yes, I was. Is that not why you have 759 of them? Why don't you delete them or change the privacy settings if you don't want people looking? Usually it's this same person that spends all day on facebook looking through peoples pictures, as does most people. In annoying facebook's girls eyes, it's okay to look through pics, just don't admit you do...
5)Chain-Status. "...most people won't repost this, but my true friends will..." Please, I'm not a good person or whatever because I don't copy and paste the 3rd cancer/suicide/RTA/sick baby related status I've seen so far today? Could you imagine social media if everyone done this? But no, annoying facebook girl will always repost, and the brigade of sympathetic friends can comment on it. I think the best one I ever seen was a picture of a toddler on an operating table, "If this picture gets 100,000 shares, this little boy will get a heart transplant." My heart bleeds for the imbeciles that repost...
6)Private Jokes. Are private, that is, only yourself and whoever else is in on it knows what the fuck the joke is. Posting private jokes on facebook is one of the most retarded things I've ever seen. The private joke is then commented on by the one or two people that get it, as if to show if they're in the loop, please fuck off and get a life.
No comments:
Post a Comment