The Boys are Back in Town

Well folks!

 I rediscovered this blog last night by sheer accident and had such a laugh reading it, that I sent it on to a few friends, one of whom said "it's feckin' great reading!" So with a comment like that I said I'd have to get back on the very high cynical horse and start ranting once more(not that I ever stopped, but just didn't write them down.) It's been almost a year since I last posted on this, so let's see what has changed.

Looking back over the 4 or 5 blog posts I made, not much really. I'm still a man in his early twenties with the cynicism of a seventy year old, Arts wasters are becoming even more prevalent, the same people on Facebook are still wreck-the-heads and internet anonymity is still more or less non-existent.

So expect more of the same shite from me over the next few days/weeks/months or however long it takes me to lose interest in this again! At the moment anyway I'm planning on doing a post at least every 3 days or so, or whenever something comes to mind, but sure I suppose we'll see what happens.

Also the aforementioned friend that said this blog was "feckin' great reading," has been inspired by moi to start his own, http://ecountant.blogspot.ie/ so make sure and have a look, I'd say there's some great stuff in store!

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Mammied Students

God it pisses me off royally. How someone at the age of 18/19 can't for the life of them cook or clean is beyond me. The amount of mammied people I know in college is shocking.

The most disturbing thing about mammied students, in my opinion, is how they think it's fine. Both the parents and the student don't really see any problem with the fact that Mrs.Mammy has to dress her 18 year old sons bed and cook him dinners that he brings in lunchboxes every week. None of them seem remotely embarrassed or put out by the whole situation. Like seriously, if I was like that I'd begin to ask myself some serious questions.

In my opinion, mammied children(we'll call the 18/19 year old a child from now on) are doomed to fail. Any man that is unable to feed himself or wash his clothes should seriously consider being tested for a disability. How the fuck can you expect this person to go out and make something of himself in the world if he can't even hoover the fucking floor? They should be embarrassed, the whole lot of them.

I suppose it's a sign of the times, and my heart really weeps for humanity upon accepting this fact. One thing I always think of is that 50 or 60 years ago, people our age and younger were being blown to bits on the front lines, the closest we get to anything like that is playing Call Of Duty. Not just wars, people our age would be married a lot of the time and have kids. Now I'm not saying that's what I'd prefer but it shows the massive difference in priorities and responsibilities people our age have these days. It's a joke when you think about it like that, the next mammied little twat I see writing "FML" on facebook should think long and hard about that, that in years gone by someone your age would be having their legs blown off in Gallipoli rather than their mother making them a sandwich.

Mammied girls are even worse. Not to sound sexist, but some men may be able to go through life being mammied all the way, a simple transition from a mother to a wife may ensure that his fat arse not be exposed to to much hassle, women however, would find it much harder to find a man who would assume this role.



Oh god I hate them. My message to mammied students, or mammied children in general-grow the fuck up! You should be embarrassed to be unable to do anything except stew in your own shit, it's not cool or handy to live like that, it's seriously fucked up. Get up off your hole and be a fucking man.

Internet Anonymity

Let's be honest, it doesn't exist. You might have noticed I haven't given my name on this blog, the reasons for that are vast. I'm sure however, that if someone wanted to find out who the cynical undergrad is they could do it handy enough, such is the nature of modern technology.

It's a stupid, stupid system we currently have, whereby people would say things in person or to someones face, but would not write it down by any means, via email, forum, blog post etc. People have become far too afraid of being sued or defamed and what has resulted is political correctness gone mad. You could say I'm hypocritical in that sense, as I am victim to it myself, I suppose you would be correct. However, I'm drawing from experience, on two different occasions I've been called out on things I wrote on the Internet, nothing overly serious, but an inconvenience all the same. What always got to me was that on both occasions I was one of many, my part was no more than many others, but both times I had to take the fall. I suppose they knew I had the most to lose, and the others just wouldn't give a shit, sometimes I wonder if that was where I went wrong?

I discuss this whole issue of Internet anonymity a lot these days. Realistically, there's no way of knowing who can see what, who can read all our emails etc, access all our information and details. Major institutions get hacked all the time, so I doubt it's impossible to hack my university email? The problem with this is that it's getting increasingly difficult NOT to do things on line, and I don't envisage that changing in the near future.

You might be asking what the fuck I'm on about, to be honest I've just asked myself the same question, this doesn't really have anything to do with university or anything, just another rant I suppose.

Arts Students

Perhaps the title is unfair. It's not right to tar all the Arts students with the same brush, I know many Arts students who work hard and will get a good degree with good subjects.

There is a huge correlation though between wasters and an Arts degree. By wasters I don't just mean people who are lazy, I mean people who have no interest in being in college at all. Why on earth would someone spend 3/4 years doing something they don't like? Take for example, Sociology and Politics, the main subject among first arts. Why they all pick it I'll never understand, most of them have absolutely no interest in anything related to it, and would cringe if you ever talked about politics, social issues etc. The only interest they'd have in it would be complaining about the fact they have to turn up to tutorials or lectures and do a few assignments, imagine that! Having to actually do something! No thanks, I'm an arts waster!

I always asked the wasters I know, "why did you come to college if you hate doing work?" to which they answered "To get a job." Fair enough, but I don't think many of them understand that your job prospects from someone who has nothing to show from university except a 3.1 Arts degree and a catalogue of bad hangovers are not very different from a school leaver.

The Arts degree can be great, I know loads of people who graduated with great Arts degrees and are doing quite well for themselves, but in reality the amount of wasters in it lowers it's reputation. A Bachelor of the Arts has become almost synonamous with "college for the sake of it," and something you do when you don't know what you want to do, except move to college with your friends and go drinking, which isn't good for the proper students doing arts, whose degree is somewhat lessened because of these knobs, but hey, I suppose they knew that when they picked it so c'est la vie!

Annoying Facebook statii

That is the plural of status is it? Anyways, one thing that seriously, seriously wrecks my head is the annoying facebook girls. We all have them in our friends list, albeit minus a few in my case after the "annoying facebook friends cull" of November '11. The annoying facebook girls are all different yet have the exact same four or five charachteristics that make them part of that god-awful group.

1) Vague statii. AGGGHHH, please fuck off! This is quite possibly the worst aspect of the annoying facebook girl. A status which is basically non-existant only for six or seven words which provide no information whatsoever. Examples include, "So sad right now," "Only five days to go," "Hate it when people break promises," "Really pissed off at the moment," "Can't believe what just happened." "Really need a hug right now," and the ultimate, "Some people in this town would want to watch out." The funny thing in a lot of cases from my experience however, is that annoying facebook girl is actually really sound in real-life, perhaps the power of a platform for sympathy goes to their head?

2)The sympathetic friend. This is the bastard child of vague statii. No matter what annoying facebook girl writes, there is the brigade of sympathetic friends to write even vaguer comments. The sympathetic friends are annoying facebook people in their own right, yet choose to be annoying on other peoples posts rather than on their own page. Sympathetic friend will not only comment on a vague status, but anything at all, and turn into showing how friendly they are. Examples include, "Friend 1-Just watched a film. Sympathetic friend-Omg hun, havnt cn u in ages, need to catch up mwah xoxo" "Friend 1- Hates when people break their promises. Sympathetic friend- Call me hun xoxox" "Friend 1-Sometimes I wonder why I bother! Sympathetic Friend - Keep strong hun, mwah love you xoxo."

3)Infinite pictures. You know how to use a camera, we get it. You know how to take pictures in black and white, sepia etc, we get it. We have seen your face from 27 different angles, all while you are doing the duck-face or pushing up your tits, while trying not to look like you're aware of it. We don't fucking care!

Another picture related aspect of annoying facebook girl is commenting on photos of how shit she looks, these comments only appear where the person looks good however, and they remain tagged. Your not fooling anyone darling, so don't expect a response from anyone, except, obviously, the aforementioned sympathetic facebook friends.

4)You were looking at my page! Annoying facebook people get annoyed when they find out you were browsing their page. It usually starts by them telling you about some picture of whatever, and you say you've seen it. "OMG you were looking through my pictures!" Ah, yes, I was. Is that not why you have 759 of them? Why don't you delete them or change the privacy settings if you don't want people looking? Usually it's this same person that spends all day on facebook looking through peoples pictures, as does most people. In annoying facebook's girls eyes, it's okay to look through pics, just don't admit you do...

5)Chain-Status. "...most people won't repost this, but my true friends will..." Please, I'm not a good person or whatever because I don't copy and paste the 3rd cancer/suicide/RTA/sick baby related status I've seen so far today? Could you imagine social media if everyone done this? But no, annoying facebook girl will always repost, and the brigade of sympathetic friends can comment on it. I think the best one I ever seen was a picture of a toddler on an operating table, "If this picture gets 100,000 shares, this little boy will get a heart transplant." My heart bleeds for the imbeciles that repost...

6)Private Jokes. Are private, that is, only yourself and whoever else is in on it knows what the fuck the joke is. Posting private jokes on facebook is one of the most retarded things I've ever seen. The private joke is then commented on by the one or two people that get it, as if to show if they're in the loop, please fuck off and get a life.

"How did ya do?" "Ara shite enough..."

This has to be one of the most annoying things you'll come across as an undergrad, people coming out of exams, telling everyone how crap they did, and how they'll be keeping their summer free due to the impending repeats. Then low and behold come results time, these same people do fairly well. Please fuck off.

Why do people do this? Are they trying to make everyone else feel better? Are they hesitant about jinxing fate? Or are they actually just unconfident in their own work? It's amazing, the correlation between results and what people tell you. I'm not sure on exact figures, but I'm sure greater than 50% of students score above 50% on average in exams, yet you will be hard pressed to find even 10% of people that will come out of an exam and be honest when asked. No, you have to do the "socially polite" thing and tell everyone how shite you are.

This social politeness reared it's ugly head in, above all other places, my own sitting room. I was asked how my morning exam went, "Savage," I replied. What I was then informed by the lovely young woman, was that how dare I say I done well, even though I thought I did, apparently it's unfair to other people in the exam that didn't feel good about it, unfair to people sitting other exams, and basically unfair to society in general. I politely told her that none of these people were in my sitting room, and that she could fuck off. Don't ask if you don't want to know.

These idiots annoy me to no end. Why the fuck are you here if you want to complain about every exam and assignment, and have no interest in academia whatsoever? Just because your happy to get a shitty degree and be really cool by telling everyone how generally fucked you are for everything college related, doesn't mean the rest of us have to conform to your social niceties you've created around exams and results. Please drop out!